Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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