if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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