omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize