it wasn't lemon gatorade
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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