can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
