I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
