U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
