I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
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He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
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He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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