why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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