nutella sex= disaster
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
