even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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