So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
