how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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