Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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