I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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