I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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