i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Buhtt sex?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
