I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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