Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize