whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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