I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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