What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
