Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
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