You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
