I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
