i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Randomize
