when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
