I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
