Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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