It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
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i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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