youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
