Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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