That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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