Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
