let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
