well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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