We're facebook friends in real life
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
