he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
