just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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