I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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