I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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