I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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