I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
