I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
