I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
