1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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