Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize