There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
wanna go halves on a baby?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
