can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize