Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
