jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
