scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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