You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
