I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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