You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
ugly people sure do ruin things
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
