u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
