wakey wakey hands off snakey
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
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