The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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