i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
