she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
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but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
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You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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