I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
