I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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