I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
