a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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