just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
