Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize