no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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